How to Look After Your Mental Health During a Breakup:
Reading time: 5 minutes | Last updated: January 2026
When my three-year relationship ended last summer, I lost more than just a partner. I lost my daily routines, my future plans, and my sense of self.Looking after my mental health during this breakup became my survival mission. What I learned changed everything about how I understood healing.
That First Week Was Brutal
I remember waking up feeling like I was moving through water. Everything felt heavy and impossibly slow.
Instead of fighting it, I made one promise to myself. I would treat my heartbreak like a physical injury that needed proper care.
This mindset shift saved me from drowning in guilt about not "bouncing back" fast enough.
5 Unique Ways to Cope With Breakup Mental Health Strugge
1.Writing Letters to My Future Self
Every Sunday evening, I wrote letters to versions of me three months, six months, and one year ahead.
I didn't write about my ex or the pain. Instead, I wrote about who I wanted to become and what I hoped to feel.
When I opened the three-month letter later, I cried. Not from sadness, but because I'd accomplished so much without realizing it.
It was tangible proof that time really does heal, even when you can't feel it happening day by day.
2.The Reverse Bucket List:
Setting big goals felt impossible when I could barely get out of bed. So I did the opposite insteat.
I started documenting small victories I'd already accomplished each week. "Got out of bed before 10 AM." "Ate a full meal." "Laughed today."
Watching this list grow reminded me that progress isn't always forward motion. Sometimes it's just showing up for yourself in tiny ways.
This simple practice became my favorite tool for seeing that I was actually healing, one small step at a time.
3. My "5-4-3-2-1 Comfort Box" for Anxiety
Panic attacks caught me completely off guard during those first few months. I couldn't breathe, couldn't think, couldn't function.
I created a physical box filled with items for each sense. A soft blanket, lavender oil, ginger candies, calming music, photos of my dog.
When anxiety hit, I'd go through each sense deliberately. This grounded me back into the present moment instead of spiraling.
It sounds simple, maybe even silly, but it genuinely worked when nothing else could reach me through the panic.
4. The "Best Friend Rule" for Self-Talk
I was incredibly mean to myself during those first months. Absolutely brutal with my internal dialogue and self-criticism.
Then I started the "Best Friend Rule." Every time I caught negative self-talk, I'd ask: "What would I tell Sarah?"
The answer was always kinder, more realistic, and more compassionate. Our brains listen to everything we tell them, so I chose kindness.
Speaking gently to yourself feels weird at first. But slowly, those kinder words started feeling true instead of forced.
5. Creating a "Safe" Social Media Space
I tried quitting social media completely but felt isolated. I tried scrolling mindlessly but accidentally saw painful posts about my ex.
Finally, I created a separate Instagram account just for healing. I followed therapists, artists, nature accounts, and real recovery stories.
I used browser extensions to temporarily block triggering profiles. I set strict time limits on all apps.
This gave me a safe digital space that supported my recovery instead of sabotaging it with emotional landmines everywhere.
What Nobody Tells You About Breakup Grieve
The hardest part wasn't the big moments. It was the mundane, everyday stuff that destroyed me.
Cooking dinner for one. Reaching for my phone to text him something funny, then remembering. Watching our show alone.
Grief isn't one massive wave. It's hundreds of tiny ripples throughout your day, every single day, for months.
I also learned that healing isn't about "getting over" someone. It's about integrating that experience into your life story.
That relationship shaped me and taught me things. Trying to erase it would mean erasing my own growth too.
The Permissions I Gave Myself
I allowed myself to contradict my own feelings. To miss him one hour and feel relieved the next.
I gave myself permission to still care about him while prioritizing my own healing. These two things can absolutely coexist.
I let myself change my mind about what healing looked like. Some days I needed solitude. Other days I needed people.
All of it was valid. All of it was okay. There's no rulebook for how to heal from heartbreak.
When I Knew I Was Healing
It wasn't dramatic. I woke up one morning and realized he wasn't my first thought anymore.
I laughed genuinely at a joke without feeling guilty. I made exciting plans for next year that didn't involve him.
The best way I can describe it?
One day I realized I was carrying the pain differently now.
It was still there, but it wasn't crushing me anymore. It was just part of my story, not my entire story.
My Honest Advice for You
Your breakup is uniquely yours. What helped me might not help you, and that's completely fine and totally normal.
You don't need to be productive in your pain. Rest is healing. Crying is healing.
Sleeping in is healing too.
Your timeline belongs to you alone. Don't let anyone tell you "it's been long enough" or rush your healing process.
Professional support changes everything.
Talking to someone through Panha
genuinely saved me during my darkest weeks and lowest moments.
Having a professional who understood the mental health side of breakups made me feel less alone. Less crazy too.
Small steps are still steps forward. You don't need to transform your entire life tomorrow or make dramatic changes overnight.
Just do the next right thing. Today, that might be getting out of bed.
Tomorrow, texting a friend back.
Progress isn't always visible to us. But it's happening whether you see it or not right now.
Six Months Later: Where I Am
I'm not "completely over it" and I don't know if that's even the goal anymore for me.
What I can say is this: I'm whole again.
Differently whole, maybe even more whole than I was before.
Heartbreak taught me what I actually need in relationships. It showed me how strong I really am inside.
If you're going through your own breakup right now, I want you to know something important and true.
You will survive this pain. You will laugh again. You will trust again.
You will love again too.
And on the impossible days, when you can't see any light? Just focus on this moment. Just breathe.
That's enough. You're enough. Always have been, always will be, regardless of any relationship status or breakup.
Get Buddy Support During Your Breakup
If you're struggling with your mental health during a breakup, please know that Panha offers compassionate emotional support services to help you navigate heartbreak and rebuild your emotional wellbeing today.
Connect with Panha buddy:
Whether you're dealing with anxiety, depression, or just need someone who understands—PanhaCare professional team is here for you.
Taking care of your mental health during a breakup isn't selfish.
It's essential. You deserve support and you don't have to heal alone.
Remember: Healing takes time, and every small step forward matters. Be patient with yourself.